
It’s been a wee bit over a month since I visited this place on a smoky afternoon.
DEFINITELY worth keeping in the back pocket for future trips.

Breakfast with a side of grace, please
These things would have blackened
Like little drops of blood
Sprinkled in a flowerpot.
Becoming festering blisters
Across a life already too beautiful.
I would not have walked away happy.
Because you explained to me, gently,
In the most gracious way you could.
And I want to hear “Not yet”
And I cradle this idea in deep satisfaction.
As if something was won.
Because I know how to play it well.
Maybe I should think “never”
And hold this idea.
Because I do not understand
The full beauty of this life.
Not now. Not yet. Maybe never.
And in all of this,
I wandered upon something that I lost a long time ago.
Something forgotten almost, but still hoped for.
A friend tells me this is success.
And across a thousand years this is what I wanted.
This is what was forgotten.
Just that chance to be true.
No more than that.
Just that chance to be beautiful.
To shine on those flowers
In the only way I knew.
Yes that’s what I hoped for.
Outside,
The wind stirs the sand, uncovering those old dreams.
Those simple dreams buried deep in the flower pot.
The flowers there, now blooming so bright,
As the flowers gently sway in the wind,
How was I to know
That I would walk away fulfilled?
Dan walked into the dining room where his mother was writing something down on paper.
“Can I go in the kitchen now?” Asked Dan.
The wind buffeted the house sending creaks and shudders through the old wood. It was the third time today
that Dan had asked to go there.
“I’ve told you no, Dan.”
Replied mom.
“But mom, I can see outside better from the window there.” He pointed to the faint light trailing into
the kitchen. More wind plowed into the house. Their heads turned upwards, towards the light from the kitchen.
“You don’t need to see outside. Not right now.”
“What is it, mom?”
Dan’s face turned to quiz his mother.
“Not right now, Dan.
Not right now.”
“This wind’s gonna get us, aint it?”
“There’s no wind that’s gonna get you. You just mind along and get back to playing in the front room.” Mom’s voice took on an urgency.
“Mom, when’s it gonna stop?”
The light was fading from the kitchen and the wind seemed to push night into every corner. Soon she would start the fire. It wasn’t cold yet. But a fire sounded comforting against the wind.
Playing with the alignments, colors and, of course, the flies for a gift. I ended up placing the flies upside down in relation to the hanger on back, so I will have to do a version 2 which is OK since I figured out a better way to secure to mounting posts for the flies and I will color the wood inside a light brown perhaps.
It just had to work again. Nature likes persistence. I was wrong…
Modeled predictions – Yesterday provided satisfactory results all around. The plan was to improve upon everything this morning – just make it a little better. Found a new lie to fish through, contemplated a schedule (early), tailored some flies for the situation, prepared some food, and went to sleep trying not to think about how the morning was going to be one of those memorable days when I had hooked enough and decide to head home early to have a leisurely day off at home.
Actual observations – Arrive on time, confidently and patiently rig up, get the waders on while chatting with a fellow showing up for work on the nearby road project. Same pre-dawn scene at the bank. Steaming water, and brilliant glow behind the mountain. It’s a fair bit warmer this morning, too. Ohh, this is even better than I was expecting! I walk straight down to the crossing for East-West run. On the wade across a pod of about eight or so fish pushes over the riffle, see me, then turn back down. Getting better all the time. I arrive and start high up on the run so I can fish down into the far side lie methodically and, of course, patiently.
As the sun first peeks through the trees on the ridgeline a focused intensity permeates the air. Water vapor oozes everywhere in wispy tendrils that catch the first rays. The river slides purposefully over the cobbles beneath. Everything seems at work. Fish roll up and down the run, some of them splashy affairs that might suggest steelhead. Along the far bank are various slicks and seams that call out for a fly to swing through them. The casts, mends and swings are perfect throughout. Along the way a half pounder is hooked and jumped as the fly swings around on the dangle.
At one point , I catch myself absent of all thought. The usual upstairs chatter is missing for a few moments. Those moments. Fish show here and there, the run is fished through. I start at the top again, changing to a lighter pattern. Halfway down a half pounder is hooked and released. Nothing else doing. The sun is well up now and morning is kicking in. I head back upstream to fish the very bottom of North-South and only one grab to show.
A sure thing comes up short of expectations. But it provides the perfect lesson. And finding emptiness is rarely bad…
Can I hold your gaze a moment longer?
So I can fall into that place
Of your soft light.
Might I hold your gaze?
Then would you laugh
If you knew my thinking?
Would I find you there,
All of this
So close to me?
Just let me hold your gaze
And tell me what you see
The dogs lie in waiting during the dawn hours. A truck zipping by at 50 miles per hour constitutes fair game apparently. Twice they seemed to just miss the front tire. Maybe that was their version of success – game won. Crossing and walking down to the bottom of the north-south run at the corner another pack of dogs wandered by, sniffing the morning air -making the rounds of their turf. They were gone, my fingers were already turning numb by the time I worked out a first cast – fish on! A feisty half pounder landed. The sun had not begun to clear the ridge yet, the river was steaming off its accumulated heat, and the fish were right were they were supposed to be. Everything was working.
A couple of missed grabs (that coulda been the ONE) here and there, a few more half pounders to hand, and I decided to try the wade across to the East-West Run: Steelhead Shangri-La. In some years the wade isn’t doable. At the crossing point the river crosses back to the near side cutting a slot along the willows with some sunken wood tangles thrown in to roughen things up a bit. My first try was denied – the slot was too deep. Moving farther up, I found I could cross by wading straight across past the slot, then straight downstream, then angle down and across to complete the mostly deep wade. I’d have to remember the precise path coming back – and a long push of water wading upcurrent – else I’d catch the slot and get swept into the woody tangles and add to the growing pile of human carcasses that accumulates underneath the willows each year.
This was a source of some concern. However, arriving at the top of the run I could only notice that it was better than ever. What was nearly the perfect piece of steelhead fly water has subtly shifted to become, well, nearly perfect steelhead fly water. That’s the thing with steelhead fishing and defining “good” water. There’s all types of good water out there, and better yet, many variations on “perfect” water. Just when you think you’ve found mecca, a better place likely lies just around the next bend.
Some things were still the same here, though. Near the top, there is a rough line of boulders or bedrock along the far bank that creates a wonderful fast water lie. And it was along the face of these boulders that my ruminations and reminscings came to a halt. A big halt. The swing just stopped and I came fast into a cartwheeling adult. It all happens so hard and fast that describing the sequence of actions that happen from cast to hook set would just be guesses.
I finally managed to work a hatchery adult to the bank, snap a quick picture and send it on its way – hopefully to feed a hungry anglers family. I’m not a big fan of the large numbers of steelhead and salmon that the hatchery cranks out – a whole host of issues. Not the least of which are the thousands of anglers who travel to fish the upper reaches below the hatchery. Up there the river is small, narrow and, in my mind, one long extension of the hatchery holding tank. Steelhead fishing at its finest. Oh boy. But here I am, happy to be swinging flies and hooking a hatchery steelhead.
Hypocrisy?
Probably. Definitely.
Somewhere around ten, just as the river was starting to turn into an aquarium and the first gentle breeze was rustling the leaves, the off switch was hit and I left with the one adult and a dozen or so half pounders. I need to get to work on some flies for this fast, shallow and clear water – my fly wallet has a few voids that need filling.
[notes – trying to convey the notion that salmon and steelhead in the Pacific have largely evolved alongside the earth’s most dynamic landscapes – the Pacific Rim – this country beaten, shaken and falling apart is home to these great fish – I just wanted to get some preliminary thoughts down and work through it for awhile – much better reading than a journal article!]
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All along the coast
Great mountains rise
Up from Oceans
Falling from volcanoes
Rainier, Hood, Shasta
Just a few
And all those little creeks
Collecting water from the ocean
Pushing mountains back to the sea
Returned to their birthplace
Atop mountains carved by glaciers
Covered in lava
Shaken by earthquakes
Landslides, floods and droughts
Such a brittle country
Who would ever find a home
Here?
That little creek,
Here today
Going away with the mountain
Some great geologic clock
Returning all to the sea
Then upheaved, scraped and shaken again
And again from before our time
To well past our place
Who would ever be here?
I promised myself I would take care of chores today: laundry (including folding), kitchen cleaning, vacuuming (yes, I occasionally do vacuum the house), and, the fun part, making tomato sauce! All this prior to tomorrow’s hike into a rarely-fished stretch of water unseen to most. The river is currently up nearly a foot and a slow drop should be ideal for an afternoon exploratory descent into this land of poison oak, free-roaming black bears and wild steelhead.

The cast unfurls on target: a submerged rock shelf across the river. Barely visible as a dark patch between downpours. Flies are changed and swung deep and slow or shallow and fast. Nothing seems to work. One missed grab at the top of the chimney run. The river is up a scant few inches. Everything is working as the flies swing perfectly through the runs, again and again. Everything except the fish. One half pounder to hand, one jumped and one grab. Other than the fantastic wet weather, a curiously slow afternoon and evening. Even the salmon were barely showing.
I knew full well that fishing the first rains with a barely rising river has never been a producer for me. Despite this, I have never been able to resist the temptation of standing knee deep in a mild October rain. Maybe others have found good fishing in these conditions, but when I see the river creeping up a tenth of a foot and rain in the air, I know I go for the sweet smell in the air and the soft hiss of rain on the river’s surface.
Now, having said all that, there is one formula that HAS worked for me. Two days after the rain has consistently provided a productive outing. This is a schedule to adhere to. Sunday afternoon might be worth looking into.