I went to see my therapist today. I’m always anxious to go and always arrive on time. My therapist doesn’t speak to me. But if I listen, I hear all about the subject matter. I just have to show up on time. I usually have trouble hearing for the first part of the session, but once we are underway, I figure out the lesson of the day.
Another curious thing about my therapist who doesn’t speak to me, is that the location of our session is always changing. There is no office to go to. I usually have a vague idea where it’s at, but never quite know for sure. Oddly enough, I always seem to show up at the right place, even though the lesson of the day may not be what I was expecting. Today I was expecting to hear about enjoying life without expectations. That’s what I thought I heard early on at least. Then, I got the painful truth. Today’s work would focus on frustration and learning to not beat myself up too badly.
Today was about holding a sure thing in the palm of my hand only to see it slip away. But the irony of the session was that I never got to hold the thing in my hand – I was only led to believe that it would end up there. So I guess the original lesson of expectations still had some merit.
Long story, short – I went to the river today expecting little. Had my hopes elevated with the sight of splashing steelhead. I even managed to briefly hook one before it broke me clean off. These were big bright fish. Now, shaking, a bit frustrated, but determined, I swim my marabou prawn through the water again and just where it should be – BAM – the solid grab and another broken line. If I write anymore about my feelings over this whole affair, it would not be appropriate for viewing by younger folks and others offended by certain four letter words.
I have another appointment with my therapist late tomorrow afternoon. I already know the subject matter of the session.
One thought on “Visiting my therapist and losing the last bit of composure”
What is the sound
of one steelhead laughing?